This post is intended to explain what the heck this blog is all about and why I moved from a personal blog to this site. I first started blogging in April of 2006. It’s ironic that I ended my very first post with: It’s all a work in progress.
Here I am, all these years and thousands of miles later, continuing to be a work in progress. Will we ever get it all figured out? Not this side of heaven. There’s something so exonerating about that, because it means we are free. Free to be human. Free to be broken. Free to be beautiful, wonderful, moldable clay in our potter’s hands.
I am not perfect. I don’t have it all together. In fact, I’m pretty messed up.
But it took me awhile (i.e. years) to fully recognize that, to be OK with it, and to appreciate the inherent value in my brokenness. I believe I have a Savior who not only paid the price for my screw-ups (even those that will happen tomorrow, and the next day…), but also waits to make me perfect in His house.
My writing is about me being that work in progress, following Jesus wherever He leads, until I get to that house. Sometimes I enjoy a seat on the fun bus, but other times I’m stuck on the crazy train. And quite often, I feel like my six-year-old self in the back of my parents’ station wagon whining, “Are we there yet?”
I mean, really God, can’t I be there yet? Can’t I get past all this ugliness and confusion? Can’t I finally get it right?
And so I thank God for the endless grace He offers me daily. And I pray I have the wisdom to share that grace, to seek justice, to pour out mercy, and love those He puts in my path.
OK. So why the new site?
I switched to this blog site in 2014 in an attempt to follow the whispers in my heart. My family is currently living as self-supporting missionaries in Nicaragua. (Read more on how we got here.) We are grateful for the skills and talents that enable us to work our jobs back in the US from thousands of miles away. And yet… the work keeps us chained to desks more than we’d like. In fact, we’re finding God is asking for more of our time and talents here… but how will we support ourselves if we pull away from our work back in the States?
I doubt a lot. And question a lot.
But if we believe what we say we do… if God is who He says He is… then what have we to fear? I mean, this whole Christianity thing is pretty crazy anyway, right? (Need I even mention Noah and the ark? Or the whole red sea parting? Or walking on water? Or a million other outlandish things?) So if we believe any of it, we might as well believe all of it.
We might as well go hog wild and trust Him with our lives. We might as well actually live like we know the Creator of the universe, like we have him on speed-dial.
I love to write. It helps me process the lessons I’m learning, the steps I’m taking. So I’m focusing more on writing, and less on traditional freelance design, to see if I can eventually use this site to support our family (and allow us to devote most of our time to the work God has called us to here).
I want to at least try, to see if I can use my writing to build an online community that
accepts our weaknesses (without rewarding them),
craves justice (is it ever right that a child should live, and eventually die, in an orphanage with no one to call his own?),
offers endless grace and mercy (because we all need it),
and encourages one another to keep striving for the perfection we’ll receive in heaven…
even though we’re [still] not there yet.
Will you join me?